Top Ten Things President Obama Might Say to Alabama's National Championship Football Team

10. "Take off my 'O' and whaddaya got? Bama! Say it again! Bama! One more time! Bama!" 

9. "Yes we can. And yes we did. Yes you, Alabama, could. And yes you, Alabama, did. No, Texas could not. And no Texas did not. Isn't it amazing how politics translates so well to the world of college football."

8. "In addition to honoring you all as national champions today, I would also like to take this opportunity to name Nick Saban as my college football czar."

7. "I'm a little on the skinny side and have a thing for cigarettes, but I can see you guys take your fitness pretty seriously down South. The good thing is that we're all one as Americans -- chain-smoking presidents and fit football players alike."

6. "Even though I wasn't actually born in the States, if I had been, I think Alabama would have been a nice place to be born. Well, let me clarify. I was born in the States -- in Hawaii. There's absolutely no question I was born in Hawaii. Anyway, enough about that."

5. "To be honest, I truly believe Boise State deserves to be here, too. They showed the character of a champion by going undefeated just like you all did. In my eyes, neither one of you is better than the other. So I want to honor them today too with this special video tribute highlighting their season. Please turn your attention to the big screen behind me as we all watch it together now."

4. "Yes, you guys deserve credit for being BCS champions. But, let us never forget, that the BCS system is very corrupt, and, in fact, unfair. I just want you all to know that I and Congress are working diligently every day to fix the BCS and thus make this country great and fair again. Cleaning up college football is my No. 1 priority as your president."

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